She Says…

Her voice matters.
Her reflection ripples.

Every story shared, every moment of fierce truth, finds its way into the lives of others. Here’s what women – readers, listeners, and fellow seekers – have said after walking beside Toby’s story—through books, conversations, and the fire of second chances.

What Makes a Home

Toby lives in the Washington DC area with her husband, Chris, and her beloved cat Marbles. She believes mistakes are merely great opportunities to overcome and grow.

Toby’s Fierce Tribe

“I’m sobbing with joy for you and Chris.”
After caring for her mother through the long, tender goodbye of Alzheimer’s, a woman returned to Living with Conviction—and finally reached the last page.

“I purchased your book over a year ago,” she shared, “but life kept pulling me away.”
When her mother passed, everything changed.
Now, reading Toby’s story became something deeper—
a mirror of strength, of grief, of learning how to be whole again.

“Like your mom, mine was a tower of strength, love, and goodness,” she wrote.
Toby’s openness reminded her of who she was too.
“I’m having trouble being me… but I happen to be a fantastic person.”

And sometimes, that’s where the healing begins.

—Pat

“I still struggle… but I want to help others.”
After seeing Toby’s story on Dateline, a woman from rural Texas reached out—searching not just for support, but for purpose.

She had served over 12 years for a major theft case and had been free for 13.
But even years later, freedom was still layered with depression, anxiety, and the weight of survival.

Recently, she made the bold decision to go no contact with an abusive, narcissistic mother.
It was an act of reclaiming her life. Of choosing peace. Of choosing herself.

Now, she’s ready to give back.

“I have a deep passion to help others,” she wrote,
“but Texas offers very little in the way of resources.”
She wasn’t just asking for help—she was asking where to begin offering it.

Through the pain and distance, a spark still burns.
Because once a woman finds her voice, she can become a lighthouse for others still trying to find theirs.

—Anonymous, Texas

“It shouted loud at me.”
After time behind bars, a woman in Ontario found solace in poetry and strength in service.
She saw herself in Toby’s pages — the monotony, the sisterhood, the silence of segregation.
Today, she leads mental health initiatives, contributes to research, and helps others find their voice through writing.
“It is marvelous,” she says, “that women like us can rise in middle age and live our best lives.”

“Your story touched my heart.”
After watching a national feature, a woman wrote in to say she saw not scandal, but soul.
She praised the strength it takes to love through loss, to forgive without excuse, to rise without blame.
“I think you are an incredible human being,” she wrote, “and I thank your husband for standing beside you.”
She closed with this: “When I have the means, I’ll buy your books. Until then, know you’ve already given me something priceless.”

“I watched it burn.”
In 2013, a woman ended her 23-year marriage and entered a relationship that quickly spiraled into addiction, destruction, and loss.
She saw herself in Toby’s words—especially the line about a heart that wasn’t fickle, just dying.
“Brian made me feel wanted,” she wrote. “And I was so selfish, I dissolved into his fairy tale.”
Reading Living with Conviction helped her reframe her past:
“I am not alone. I was not broken. I just didn’t have all the pieces yet.”
—Anonymous

“Her path led to healing.”
One reader admitted she had judged Toby—until she read the book.
What she discovered was a story filled with truth, redemption, and remarkable resilience.

Like many women, she grew up with low self-esteem and made choices to fill the silent voids left by pain.
“I had a child out of wedlock when it wasn’t socially acceptable,” she shared. “Her choice was different, but the ache underneath was the same.”

Reading Living with Conviction opened her eyes.
“I gained a new understanding of the prison system—and a deeper empathy for the women inside it.”

She never watched the TV movie.
She chose the story told in Toby’s own words.

“Some days it feels so impossible.”
A woman replied to one of Toby’s emails with tears in her eyes—and a question in her heart.
She had watched the story unfold on Dateline, and now found herself standing at her own crossroads of healing.
“Does telling your story help you heal?” she asked. “I feel like mine would… but I don’t know where to start.”
—Lovette

“I couldn’t believe it — it was exactly the same.”
After watching the episode, a woman wrote to say she’d never been to prison, never tried to break someone out—
but she had blown up her life.
Ignored. Unseen. Starved for affection. She fell for someone who made her feel alive—until it turned violent.
Her world unraveled. Her family pulled away. And shame took root.
“I still become very down when I think about the mess I made,” she shared.
But Toby’s story lit a different path. “It was very brave of you,” she wrote. “And I’m so happy you’ve grown.”
—Nina J.

“I totally get it.”
After watching Toby’s story unfold on Dateline, Sandy reached out with a letter full of truth, grace, and hard-won empathy.

For 34 years, she had stayed in a marriage that felt more like cohabitation than connection.
She poured herself into motherhood. She lived by faith. She stayed because that’s what was expected.
But inside? She was drowning.

“When the kids left,” she wrote, “I was absolutely crushed.”
And when Toby described feeling invisible, Sandy saw herself.
“To have someone make you feel valued… what a magnet! I could have made the same choices.”

She recognized the weight of long-unmet needs, the fragility of worth, and the pain of a hug refused.
“After giving of yourself for years without recognition,” she asked,
“At what point does a woman break—and finally do something that makes her feel seen?”

Sandy found healing in Toby’s strength and peace in her redemption.
Her final words say what so many women feel:
“Although many can’t understand the choices you made… I do. I completely understand.”

—Sandy

“I’m better. I’m healing.”
After hearing Toby on Criminal, a woman wrote to say it was the first time she’d heard someone who sounded like her.
Once a GED instructor with a “normal life,” Laurie’s world unraveled through pain, secrecy, and survival.
She served over 8 years across two prison sentences.
“I forgot how beautiful it was to walk barefoot, take a bath, or stand in moonlight,” she wrote.
Now, one year post-release, she’s still rebuilding — battling depression, facing distance from her children, and reaching for meaning.
But she’s learning to ask for help.
“I’m not in danger anymore. I’m not okay… but I’m healing. And for the first time, I’m hopeful.”
—Laurie W., Georgia

“You are a superhero.”
One woman reached out not with questions—but with pure love.

“Your story is beautiful. You are beautiful,” she wrote.
Toby’s passion gave her strength, and her pain stirred something deeply personal.

“The hug you weren’t allowed to get… broke my heart,” she said.
“In my mind, I gave it to you anyway.”

She admitted she hates reading—
but might just pick up Toby’s books because some stories are too powerful to ignore.

“I carry you in my heart,” she wrote.
“Thank you for being you.”

—Anonymous