Toby
Welcome to First Conversations with Toby. The podcast where we dive deep into the art of overcoming. Here, we share powerful stories that ignite healing and inspire profound transformations in your own journey. I’m Toby Daw and together we’ll explore the resilience, courage and fierce determination that turn life’s challenges into stepping stones for growth. Let’s begin this transformative journey together.
Toby
Thanks for joining me today on Fierce Conversations with Toby. My guest is going to blow your mind because she blows my mind every time I look at her Facebook page. Brandy van Holton as well. A dozen businesses and just keeps growing. So welcome. Brandy.
Brandy
Hey, I am so happy to have this here because, you know, you were a guest on my podcast, I think. And now you said that you wanted to do podcasting, and then here you are.
Toby
So I’m. Yes.
Toby
I think I might have been one of your first episodes. I don’t remember if I was the very first, but it was way back at the beginning.
Brandy
You were the third person for me to interview, but I made you my first podcast, so like it was, I changed the order. You were my, beginning one. The first one.
Toby
That’s pretty cool. That’s pretty cool. And your podcast was called Big Boss Mare, right? It was.
Brandy
But now I’ve interviewed.
Toby
So many.
Toby
Men that I.
Brandy
Can to make sure and open it up. So we trademarks the term country stuff with it being spelled correctly. So now it’s entry tough with Brandy von Holton. I’m a big boss mare. I have a clothing line now.
Toby
Yeah.
Brandy
Mare is a segment of the clothing line. So I kept with those words. Just changed their use.
Toby
That’s cool. That’s cool. So Brandy’s husband, David had a farm that had been in his family for 100 years.
Brandy
Yep. Since 1906. And I purchased.
Toby
A.
Brandy
Chair.
Toby
Wow. That’s the year my grandma was born. And actually, her birthday’s tomorrow. And I was just like today. That’s like 117 years.
Brandy
Oh, yeah, it’s a lot.
Toby
Yeah, it’s a lot. So David’s family had this farm, and it’s it’s outside of Sedalia, Missouri. Which of, listeners don’t know? It’s a small town about 100 miles from Kansas City, and it’s the side of the Missouri State Fair.
Toby
And it’s it’s a small town. Chris and I lived there for nine years and we just loved it. And that’s how Brandi and I crossed paths. So we went to one of her events that when she first.
Toby
I don’t know, is your first year on June 2015.
Brandy
And we had opened, September 20th of 2014. So you’ve seen us and like our we were an infant whenever you met us.
Toby
Yeah. So tell us about your ranch. What what have you done with it? What are you doing with it?
Brandy
Oh my gosh, it’s a it’s always a big story, you know? So this year, 2024, we’ll be open for ten years. And whenever we bought the family farm, nobody had lived on it since 1979. And, you know how it’s easier to give birth than the raise the dead? I always have to say that we had we had to raise the dead and then give birth because this thing, they went through the Great Depression here, you know?
Toby
Yeah.
00:03:33:28 – 00:04:04:21
Brandy
Yeah. Well, and nobody had lived on it, so it was just. It was utter chaos. But what we’ve done here is we had actually gotten up to 40 electric sites, 94 stalls, which are divided into four stall barns. Now we have a boarding barn. We have two round pens. We have a covered arena that we put up, and then we have a a heated and air conditioned guest shower house for cabins.
00:04:05:05 – 00:04:29:21
Brandy
We have a mountain trail course, which is like ninja warrior for horses. And now we have an outdoor arena and a mounted archery course. And our latest thing was we, it there were eight buildings on the property, but they were all in ruins except for one. We have one of the remaining, the original buildings up, and it was the old chicken house, but.
00:04:29:29 – 00:05:06:05
Brandy
So there were eight buildings. We had to take down seven, five of those seven buildings. Us use to build a wedding venue. We did weddings from 2017 to 2023, and now we have taken back over the venue because we’re doing homesteading classes. So we’re teaching people how to be more self-sufficient. And we have we we’re trying to become like a hub for United States, for people to come to an actual ranch and learn how to do things hands on.
00:05:06:18 – 00:05:14:02
Brandy
This year is our 10th year. Be an open. We actually won Missouri’s best ranch for 2024.
00:05:14:04 – 00:05:19:12
Toby
And and you’ve got some kind of a historic family farm kind of a.
00:05:19:14 – 00:05:19:22
Toby
Yeah.
00:05:20:10 – 00:05:30:02
Brandy
IMU Missouri University has an extension, section of their college, and they, they honor the Century Farms. So.
00:05:30:02 – 00:05:49:23
Toby
Yeah. So that’s pretty cool. Now, when I first came to your event, I’m going to describe it. Then you can tell us how much it’s changed. You had a vision. I think, of being a trail riding facility kind of. And then the camping facility so that people could come and stay and then ride their horses for several days.
00:05:49:29 – 00:05:52:14
Toby
And how many acres do you have there? Well, we.
00:05:52:14 – 00:06:08:25
Brandy
Put squiggly Mark 300, but we actually sold 50 acres. But then we were able to lease those 50 acres back for a minimum of five years because of the people that have purchased it. They love having the people trail ride. So how.
00:06:08:25 – 00:06:09:11
Toby
Cool.
00:06:09:15 – 00:06:14:20
Brandy
We have around 250 acres, but we still have use of the 300.
00:06:14:22 – 00:06:15:00
Toby
00:06:15:07 – 00:06:22:25
Toby
Cool. So you started out with the trail riding facility and then you then what was the next thing you did.
00:06:23:10 – 00:06:57:07
Brandy
You know having competitions here. You know it’s, it was just good to dabble because like we needed to give people a reason to come to the facility instead of just, trail. But we still do trail. We have 25 miles of trail here so people can come in and do whatever they would like to do. Some people will come for a clinic, like we’ll have a famous trainer come in or they’ll come in, for we have these all inclusive women’s events called chicks in the sticks and or they’ll come to that or they’ll come to the homesteading.
00:06:57:07 – 00:06:59:06
Brandy
And they didn’t know that we were here.
00:06:59:09 – 00:07:06:04
Toby
So in the sticks. Tell me about that. That’s one of the that’s another business you started ride. All these are individual things.
00:07:06:04 – 00:07:15:08
Brandy
That’s the main that’s the main income for our facility. It is women only. We do have one that’s coed. And we call that Hix. And the.
00:07:15:08 – 00:07:16:26
Toby
Sticks in.
00:07:16:26 – 00:07:23:17
Brandy
The sticks. It’s, some of them. You have to prove that you’re at least 50 years old to even be able to come to it. Okay?
00:07:23:22 – 00:07:27:15
Toby
It’s not a big party session. All of your dudes included.
00:07:27:16 – 00:07:54:15
Brandy
Your camping is included. Your stall is included. You don’t have to come with a horse, but we’re not renting ours. And then all the food is included. We have a massage therapist here and they get a free massage or a massage is included. They get a USA made shirt. And then we go out to eat dinner. We always, we try to go to this Mennonite lady’s house and she’ll make even the butter is homemade.
00:07:54:18 – 00:07:55:01
Toby
I mean.
00:07:55:06 – 00:08:08:12
Brandy
Stuff was from her garden or it’s from her family’s garden. Because, I mean, there’s like 117 cousins and they all live in, you know, they’re horse and buggy, so they have access to everything that we could ever want.
00:08:08:20 – 00:08:08:27
Toby
Yeah.
00:08:08:27 – 00:08:28:23
Toby
That’s cool things. I thought about that area around Sedalia. There’s a there’s a lot of Amish and Mennonite communities, and we became very close and involved with lots of different families in that community. And I always felt so blessed to be welcomed into their home for a meal. It just, you know.
00:08:28:25 – 00:08:29:22
Toby
It, Miss Mary.
00:08:29:22 – 00:08:36:17
Brandy
Ella, the lady that we go to her house, she can hold up to 25 people at her at her dining room table.
00:08:36:26 – 00:08:37:09
Toby
You know.
00:08:37:12 – 00:08:42:26
Brandy
It isn’t that they’re just big families. I mean, they they have a lot of babies.
00:08:42:28 – 00:08:44:06
Toby
Yeah.
00:08:44:09 – 00:09:08:22
Brandy
She lets us come to her house, and, you know, I call and talk to that lady, and it turns out that she is so, educated. You know, she’s in her 60s and she, is a master gardener, and she actually teaches some of the master gardener classes that go through Missouri University. It’s a catering business. And, of course, she knows how to sew.
00:09:08:28 – 00:09:26:14
Brandy
She was one of my presenters at our country Teff Homesteading Expo, and I had her I had her present about composting. I had her present about, fall gardening and soil prep. And then she also did making Mennonite wine.
00:09:26:20 – 00:09:30:29
Toby
And she does peach preserves. Every one of her.
00:09:31:06 – 00:09:34:00
Brandy
Presentations was highly attended.
00:09:34:02 – 00:09:34:24
Toby
Wow.
00:09:35:01 – 00:09:38:18
Toby
That’s interesting. That’s really interesting. So.
00:09:38:21 – 00:09:40:04
Toby
00:09:40:06 – 00:09:43:05
Toby
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make?
00:09:43:07 – 00:09:44:16
Brandy
Oh, at the ranch.
00:09:44:19 – 00:09:51:20
Toby
Or just ever in your life is something you want to tell us about. What was a hard decision you made and how did it turn out?
00:09:51:22 – 00:10:19:26
Brandy
Okay. One of the hardest decisions I ever made was to move to the state of Missouri without a job, and I didn’t know anybody. I moved to this state without a family member. But, I got a job. I moved to Missouri from Arkansas with enough money for one month worth of rent and two weeks worth of food and fuel, without a job, without a family member.
00:10:19:29 – 00:10:23:29
Toby
Made me come to Missouri. How did you pick Missouri? Oh.
00:10:24:01 – 00:10:33:26
Brandy
Well, I try to go to the Olympics as a heavyweight fighter, and I chose between new Jersey and Missouri based on two different instructors that I was training with.
00:10:33:26 – 00:10:38:11
Toby
I see, and you’re back into the fighting thing again. Now for the.
00:10:38:14 – 00:10:39:27
Toby
Workout. That’s pretty.
00:10:39:27 – 00:10:43:07
Toby
Crazy. It looks so violent and so.
00:10:43:09 – 00:10:47:18
Toby
And it is a workout. Yeah, it’s full contact.
00:10:47:28 – 00:11:07:07
Brandy
You know, I did it for 23 years, and then I took 11 years off for us to build Von Holton Ranch. And then now this is year 24 for me to do full contact taekwondo. It’s if you knock them out, you win. If they can’t control the bleeding within 60s, you win. And so I.
00:11:07:07 – 00:11:08:01
Toby
Was 40.
00:11:08:01 – 00:11:13:07
Brandy
Four and the most competitive division is 18. The 32.
00:11:13:09 – 00:11:14:07
Toby
So they’ll.
00:11:14:07 – 00:11:20:13
Brandy
Allow you to fight in that 18 to 32 because they actually consider you handicapped as soon as you’re older.
00:11:20:13 – 00:11:21:07
Toby
Than that.
00:11:21:09 – 00:11:46:22
Brandy
Because we’re slower and we recover re we recover slower. So I qualify. And that’s the one that there’s like there’s a USA team and you get to compete internationally. So I fought in that division and I got second at the qualifier. And then I went to nationals and my first fight I lost my first fight at nationals, but most people would have lost that fight that I had.
00:11:46:22 – 00:11:50:01
Brandy
The lady was a six foot three Nigerian.
00:11:50:03 – 00:11:51:12
Toby
And she.
00:11:51:15 – 00:12:09:13
Brandy
She had won nationals for the last two years in the junior division and she’s on the USA team, but now she’s moved up into the adult division. I mean, I I’m right under five, seven and I’m 44 and I fought an 18 year old. That’s six three.
00:12:10:18 – 00:12:13:18
Toby
I a little she’s just violent.
00:12:13:21 – 00:12:34:02
Brandy
But like I ended you know, she knocked me down to the ground twice. I ended up with a black eye just on the side. And then my left line ended up being bruised, but, But I knocked her down to the ground twice, you know, so she knew she fought me. But, I’m training for for the, you know, better training for her.
00:12:34:03 – 00:12:40:11
Brandy
Like, we we videoed and analyzed videos and stuff, but training for her. I’m training for everybody.
00:12:40:24 – 00:12:41:12
Toby
I mean, she’s.
00:12:41:12 – 00:12:42:20
Brandy
Just, she’s a great.
00:12:42:20 – 00:12:43:14
Toby
Time.
00:12:43:16 – 00:12:51:00
Brandy
And she’s, you know, she hasn’t been hurt yet, so they’re, you know, they’re just more daring, but that’s okay.
00:12:51:02 – 00:12:54:13
Toby
Yeah, that’s. Wow, what I enjoy.
00:12:54:14 – 00:13:00:09
Brandy
I mean, I didn’t like losing, but I didn’t get hurt. I don’t think I would ever get hurt. Hurt?
00:13:00:09 – 00:13:01:27
Toby
You know,
00:13:01:29 – 00:13:22:09
Toby
You know, a lot of people, when they get older, they kind of slow down and take it easy. And I think as you get older, you’re just ramping up. I mean, every time I come on to Facebook and see you, you’ve got some new convention going on or some new program going or some new book you’ve written, you’re publishing a children’s series of books about your horses.
00:13:22:11 – 00:13:23:17
Toby
Tell us about those.
00:13:23:21 – 00:13:49:23
Brandy
Well, it’s it’s kind of seems like it’s about the horses, but it’s more about me feeling as a, as a person. Each one of the books is written as if a different horse is talking, and but they’re that’s character development. You know, when I was a school teacher, I just kind of felt like a lot of the character education was, watered down, you know, like it wasn’t real enough.
00:13:49:23 – 00:14:13:00
Brandy
I mean, like, kids would be like, I won an award for the most perseverance, and they didn’t even know what that meant, you know, so the first book, it’s a six series. Six book series. I’ve got the first three written and, and I’m actually going to change the order of the last three just because life has happened with the horses.
00:14:13:03 – 00:14:36:04
Brandy
The first book is about how one positive person can make a difference in the world, and that book is about this horse that wants to become a lesson horse. So because right now, a lot of the people that own horses are older and whenever, you know, natural, mature maturation happens in that population decreases. You know, that’s the nicest way in the world to say whenever older people pass away.
00:14:36:07 – 00:14:37:09
Toby
Yes, there’s.
00:14:37:09 – 00:14:58:27
Brandy
Going to be, you know, there’s not a lot of young people getting into horses. And so he is concerned about that. So he has to convince me to let him become a lesson horse. But we can’t, you know, we have to talk through actions. But he’s trying to help his entire species by helping children fall in love with him.
00:14:59:00 – 00:15:18:03
Brandy
You know? So they’ll fall in love with horses. So that’s the first book, that work that horses called KTM, because my husband used to race motorcycles. And so I had a KTM and he had a KTM dirt bike. So it was fun. And, it was, it’d be like me naming my horse Harley.
00:15:18:05 – 00:15:20:08
Toby
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
00:15:20:21 – 00:15:44:19
Brandy
The second book is about a mule named Jojo, and a mule is half donkey and half horse, and, so he doesn’t look like his mom because his mom’s a horse. And, he’s kind of. He’s a little bit of a slower learner, and he just. What he he felt, you know, like he didn’t fit in. And it’s about finding what you’re good at and it doesn’t matter what you look like to go for your goals.
00:15:44:21 – 00:16:05:14
Brandy
And so he became my mounted archery mule. You know, we tried a whole bunch of different things, and people told me I wouldn’t succeed with him because he was a little bit older and he was stubborn and he’s still stubborn, but we found what he’s good at. And, so this year there is this, there’s these large horse expos.
00:16:05:16 – 00:16:37:10
Brandy
Well, one of the largest horse expos in the United States is the Midwest Horse Fair. It’s in Wisconsin. And this year, I was the clinician with the most presentations. And out of all of the clinicians, I had eight. I had four presentations in a lecture room about mounted archery. And I had four presentations doing mounted archery. It took me six years to get that approved because it’s a projectile weapon.
00:16:37:13 – 00:16:48:05
Brandy
And to be running on your animal with the reins down and then shooting with no hands on a running animal. I mean, there’s some insurance liabilities.
00:16:48:08 – 00:16:49:09
Toby
00:16:49:12 – 00:17:10:17
Brandy
So that’s the second book and then the third book that I just the third one has my heart. The third one, which I think, you know, a lot of people might in your world might love this also, but it’s about a horse named chalkboard. The second book was my mule named Jojo.
00:17:10:19 – 00:17:11:18
Toby
00:17:12:12 – 00:17:37:03
Brandy
But chalkboard it. Her book is about how, having a bad childhood doesn’t define you as an adult. And it’s about, you know, going through a traumatic event is is just a small section, you know, of who you know of your story. It doesn’t define you. So that book, it’s about chalkboard that had a rough, rough start.
00:17:37:03 – 00:18:02:08
Brandy
And, you know, it kind of. She’s got to learn to love and trust again. So in that book and what I want to do with that one is I want to get it into, you know, whenever police officers have to, arrest parents and there’s kids involved, I want them to have a box of my books to give a book out to the kid, you know, because that’s awesome.
00:18:02:08 – 00:18:02:29
Toby
Yes.
00:18:03:02 – 00:18:22:28
Brandy
What I want to do with that, I want to I want that book is done really, really well. But I think that book needs to have a bigger audience. The other books that are not written yet, we have a mule that has a ligament issue and but nobody can see that. So it’s about how not all scars are visible.
00:18:23:01 – 00:18:49:05
Brandy
We have another horse that she’s had her jaw broken before, and she’s kind of mean, but it’s about how hurt people hurt people, you know, it’s anger, displacement. And then we have my smallest horse. Her book is about how size doesn’t your size doesn’t limit you small. And that book’s going to be written from, people bullying people that are smaller, not larger.
00:18:49:05 – 00:18:58:06
Brandy
Everybody always takes up for larger people like myself, but smaller people. People are still say something about it because they think it’s okay, because they’re smaller.
00:18:58:12 – 00:19:00:08
Toby
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
00:19:00:08 – 00:19:12:15
Toby
Children’s book I love it, you know, and I love that there are ties to something that lets you tell a story without just coming right out and telling the story, because then people think you’re lecturing them.
00:19:12:22 – 00:19:13:07
Toby
You aren’t.
00:19:13:15 – 00:19:35:02
Toby
You know, that’s kind of what I’ve done with my work. Books. Because I have butterflies, unleash bees, unleash swag and flies. And then I have the bird books coming out that are going to be leadership books. I’m using crows and hummingbirds and owls, and then I have a spiritual section coming out that’s going to be kind of related to the life of trees, you know, planting a seed and then growing and then enduring.
00:19:35:04 – 00:19:36:06
Toby
So, yeah.
00:19:36:12 – 00:19:37:07
Brandy
And your books.
00:19:37:07 – 00:19:41:12
Toby
Are so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you.
00:19:41:12 – 00:19:52:28
Brandy
Either works of art like, you know, like they have wonderful activities and reflections, but like just the quality of the book, like it makes me want to get into your book.
00:19:53:01 – 00:20:04:13
Toby
So yeah. Thank you. You know, that’s the most fun thing I do. And I have to limit myself. No, you can’t work on workbooks today. You’ve got to do this other work because that’s the fun stuff, you know?
00:20:04:15 – 00:20:22:27
Brandy
Oh, I have the same thing. All I want to do is like business and create other things. But then whenever we have people that are like, hey, I want to come in on Thursday, I’ll need three stalls, can I be beside this? I’m like, oh yes.
00:20:22:29 – 00:20:23:28
Toby
My brain.
00:20:23:29 – 00:20:28:17
Brandy
Or like opening up all the mail and then putting things where they need to go.
00:20:28:17 – 00:20:31:00
Toby
And so I guess, yeah.
00:20:31:01 – 00:20:32:23
Brandy
So I get that.
00:20:32:25 – 00:20:36:25
Toby
So Brandi, who’s been your most important mentor.
00:20:36:27 – 00:21:12:27
Brandy
Man I get ask this I okay okay. So I would say my martial arts instructor I’m her name is Terry Gautreaux and her last name is g a u t r e u x. So she’s the reason I moved to Missouri. And then my husband’s the reason I stayed. But, I mean, I don’t have a lot of friends that have, you know, I have people that are just little parts of my life, but somebody that’s going to be there for the whole book.
00:21:12:27 – 00:21:16:28
Brandy
I have people there for chapters. But she by the book, you know.
00:21:17:01 – 00:21:22:01
Toby
She was a horse, might have been a mentor to you. Sometimes it sounds like they are.
00:21:22:04 – 00:21:32:08
Brandy
Oh, my. You know, I got, when I was five years old, I got a horse named Blackie. Guess what color he was. Okay, I was okay.
00:21:32:11 – 00:21:34:17
Toby
So anyways, he was.
00:21:34:17 – 00:21:43:12
Brandy
And he passed away my senior year, but then we had other horses that they contracted a horse disease, and we had three days to put them down.
00:21:43:19 – 00:21:44:08
Toby
00:21:44:11 – 00:22:00:19
Brandy
So then the next horse I got was this horse named Silk Chick Long. Okay, I got silk chick Long when I was eight years old, and she died when I was 32, and I her last baby. And he’s 19 this year.
00:22:00:21 – 00:22:01:25
Toby
But I took.
00:22:01:27 – 00:22:03:03
Brandy
KTM.
00:22:03:05 – 00:22:06:12
Toby
Okay, KTM baby. Okay, cool.
00:22:06:15 – 00:22:31:16
Brandy
I was her baby. And then the horse. That’s the smallest horse, you know, but she’s actually my best one. She’s a cousin to KTM and I’m actually going to breed her to continue on that lineage. But you know, KTM and, I had never taken a horseback riding lesson until he was like seven years old. So there’s been so much growth.
00:22:31:18 – 00:22:51:00
Brandy
Like, I, I became an actual horse woman with him before I was just, all my horses were just kind of farmer broke. And we did things that now I would cringe over, like, oh, I can’t believe we did. You know, like, our training was messed up. Yeah, because ignorance is bliss and we didn’t know any better, but now I do.
00:22:51:00 – 00:23:16:02
Brandy
We’ve had like at our facility, I think I’ve had 47 or 48 different clinicians come in, and I always either take their classes or I audit, which is just to watch and listen. And and I’ve, you know, we’ve formed our own competition series. This is our seventh year, and I’ve taken what I have learned and put it into action and figured out what other people need.
00:23:16:05 – 00:23:28:29
Brandy
And I’ve created, like online horsemanship courses for people that are novice, that are adults. So I think KTM and his mother, his mother was horrible, but I didn’t know that.
00:23:29:06 – 00:23:30:03
Toby
I mean.
00:23:30:06 – 00:23:44:12
Brandy
I share everything I ever wanted, but, my parents made a horrible mistake buying her because they I was young and novice and they bought a young horse that was super fast, but luckily it worked out.
00:23:44:17 – 00:23:47:05
Toby
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:47:12 – 00:23:57:00
Toby
You know, the things that challenge us, the times when things aren’t perfect, I think that’s when we really have opportunity to grow and to learn because we have to overcome something.
00:23:57:07 – 00:24:05:11
Brandy
Oh, yeah. I’m always grown. You know, I look forward to all of our failures. I mean, like, I’m it’s almost like, oh.
00:24:05:11 – 00:24:06:23
Toby
I hope this fails.
00:24:06:26 – 00:24:19:23
Brandy
Because every time something fails, whenever we regrow and rethink and reconfigure it, that’s whenever it. And then it becomes this ever morphing thing, you know?
00:24:19:25 – 00:24:33:04
Toby
Yeah, I think that’s important. You know, I look at people who strive to have perfect lives and I think, why would you want that? That is so boring. What can you learn when everything’s perfect? You know?
00:24:33:07 – 00:24:51:23
Brandy
Yeah. If somebody is, if they look like they’re perfect. I know they’re not. They’re not even. They’re they’re. Oh. Usually whenever I see these women and I think they got their lives together, those are the ones that are crying behind closed doors or cheating on spouses. Or like, I.
00:24:51:23 – 00:24:53:12
Toby
Know a woman who.
00:24:53:12 – 00:24:56:18
Toby
Looked like her life was perfect. And you know what she did?
00:24:56:21 – 00:24:57:17
Brandy
What?
00:24:57:19 – 00:25:05:09
Toby
He broke somebody out of prison and a dog crate because really, she was a perfect. But she just didn’t admit it.
00:25:05:12 – 00:25:07:03
Toby
And if she’d admitted it.
00:25:07:06 – 00:25:11:25
Toby
She probably could have settled it, maybe in a healthier way, but oh well.
00:25:11:28 – 00:25:12:09
Toby
Man.
00:25:12:09 – 00:25:14:24
Brandy
But you know what? I sure am glad that you did that.
00:25:14:27 – 00:25:16:10
Toby
Yeah, you know I am too.
00:25:16:10 – 00:25:18:07
Toby
Actually, I’m glad that you did that.
00:25:18:08 – 00:25:24:05
Brandy
I think, you know, it’s changed people’s lives. I mean, me and you wouldn’t be talking right here.
00:25:24:08 – 00:25:25:26
Toby
That’s true. We wouldn’t be.
00:25:25:26 – 00:25:27:07
Toby
Yeah. That’s right.
00:25:27:09 – 00:25:29:00
Toby
Well, we I inspire you.
00:25:29:00 – 00:25:33:23
Brandy
And we have, like, this really small family farm. And all I’m trying to do is not lose it.
00:25:33:23 – 00:25:37:28
Toby
On our watch. Yeah. I mean.
00:25:38:01 – 00:25:53:05
Toby
You just amaze me. I mean, there’s always something new happening, and I think you could give Brandi a piece of crap and she’d turn it into gold. You know? I mean, she would, because you just are so dogged and determined and don’t give up.
00:25:53:07 – 00:26:15:25
Brandy
While you can’t. I mean, there’s no future in giving up. I like, what is the I don’t know, I just, I just I see people my age and they are so I, I’m 44, I’ll turn 45. I’ve got 40 year olds in my life that they’re not going to do anything except for the same thing between now and when they pass away.
00:26:16:02 – 00:26:29:03
Brandy
Okay. There’s nothing, nothing that’s going to change. Or I mean, you know, three years after they’ve passed away, all their stuff be gone and they’ll the world won’t even know they were here.
00:26:29:05 – 00:26:30:20
Toby
Exactly. Right. Yeah.
00:26:30:24 – 00:26:46:09
Brandy
And then I see I’ve got 70 and 80 year old that are going for new goals, and they’re learning how to do things and they’re teaching others and their their lineage is going to like have this positive ripple.
00:26:46:11 – 00:26:47:13
Toby
So.
00:26:48:02 – 00:26:58:24
Brandy
Age means nothing to me like clothing line is actually at country Dash Tascam because we tell everybody only your dash matters. It doesn’t matter when.
00:26:58:24 – 00:27:01:01
Toby
You’re born, when you die.
00:27:01:04 – 00:27:20:12
Brandy
That dash is all that matters. And you know, I’ve just been too successful as a plus size woman to ever limit myself on anything. You know, limit myself because you know how many people would sit down in a box in a corner and cry because they’re fat and I’m all like, a.
00:27:20:12 – 00:27:22:03
Toby
Million of them would. I mean.
00:27:22:10 – 00:27:22:29
Toby
That’s another.
00:27:22:29 – 00:27:38:02
Toby
Thing, you know, you just get out there and you own it, you know? And it’s like somebody told me once I had lunch with a friend I met here in Washington, D.C. last week, and I said, I’m going to be on this TV show that’s coming up, but I don’t know what’s going to be released. And she said, well, what’s it about?
00:27:38:02 – 00:27:44:00
Toby
And I said, oh, great, the great prison escapes. And she said, you just own that, don’t you?
00:27:44:05 – 00:27:45:16
Toby
And I said, no.
00:27:45:18 – 00:27:56:12
Toby
I have to. I mean, why wouldn’t I? Yeah, it’s the same thing with your size, you know, you just put it out there, you own it. And you. A couple years ago, you started doing these ice water bars.
00:27:56:14 – 00:27:57:20
Toby
And set up this.
00:27:57:20 – 00:28:12:15
Toby
Dog tank outside your back door. And you filled it with water and ice, and you go out there in your swimsuit or your shorts, and you get in and take this ice water bath and post them live on Facebook. And I thought, how many women with perfect bodies would do that?
00:28:12:15 – 00:28:15:17
Toby
You know, nobody knows. You just don’t.
00:28:15:17 – 00:28:20:05
Toby
Care. And I think that’s, you know, that’s what makes you so successful is that you just I.
00:28:20:05 – 00:28:41:03
Brandy
Love those high school bars. I am so on this holistic journey right now. And I want everybody to, like, improve their health. And, you know, most of the things that you can do to improve your health don’t cost anything. Hardly. I mean, like girl ice water bars, I do red light every day. Right now I have something called a therapy plate.
00:28:41:08 – 00:28:52:00
Brandy
My horse can even stand on the therapy plate and it helps in like the person that invented it is like in tune with helping the world.
00:28:52:02 – 00:28:52:21
Toby
And.
00:28:52:25 – 00:29:13:15
Brandy
I’m make girl like right here for the people that are getting to watch like this right here. That’s home. That’s whipped tallow, that’s beef fat with. It’s just beef fat put in here with essential oils. This is my lotion. And I’m, like, learning how to do all this stuff. And I don’t know, it doesn’t matter your size.
00:29:13:21 – 00:29:34:04
Brandy
And I don’t know, I just I hate whenever I see people limit themselves. Just yesterday on Facebook, I was like, you know, my homesteading event had just happened and we had around 100 people, which I, you know, I always wanted it to be thousands for the first month. But every time we do something, we always have this little step.
00:29:34:04 – 00:29:51:15
Brandy
It’s like people have to wait and make sure that we’re not nuts. Right. And then but I know that I’ll have a thousand people next year. And I even put on social media like, oh, I wish somebody would say that I won’t do it because I want to prove to them that I will.
00:29:51:15 – 00:29:52:12
Toby
But, you know.
00:29:52:15 – 00:29:57:22
Brandy
Nobody in their right mind would ever tell me that I won’t do something. You know.
00:29:57:25 – 00:29:59:00
Toby
It’s just it’s just.
00:29:59:00 – 00:30:01:09
Toby
Like throwing down a gantlet to Brandi.
00:30:01:11 – 00:30:02:20
Brandy
Oh, yeah.
00:30:02:23 – 00:30:04:25
Toby
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:05:00 – 00:30:14:24
Toby
Yeah, I love that, I love that. So was there ever a time you really felt in prison? And what did you do to free yourself?
00:30:14:26 – 00:30:42:07
Brandy
Oh, okay. You know, my husband and I, we actually, we’ve come into waves with loving our business and not loving our business. And for a minute, we got where we felt like we were trapped. And then we actually put this place up for sale because I’m like, nobody trapped. Brandi Von Holt and I will freak and walk away and restart, you know?
00:30:42:09 – 00:30:51:20
Brandy
But then whenever it was for sale and people wanted it, then we stepped back and we were like, hold on, we love this, you know?
00:30:51:20 – 00:30:54:11
Toby
So yeah, I love that.
00:30:54:14 – 00:31:00:01
Toby
You put it up for sale. You made the announcement on Facebook and I told my husband, they’re not going to do it.
00:31:00:03 – 00:31:02:11
Toby
They weren’t. Well, I had I.
00:31:02:11 – 00:31:31:09
Brandy
Had a very unhappy has been at the time. And he was unhappy his his father passed away and his father was, was very mean to my husband and did some things. And then my husband was like, we’re done. He was done with Von Holton. So he we had some behind the scenes family pain that we were going through.
00:31:31:12 – 00:31:57:21
Brandy
And, and then, that’s whenever we were like, okay, this place is ours. Yes. It’s been in the same family since 1906. We bought it in 2013. It was never given to us. And we just now we view it as our place. So we so we had actually created our own prisons. Another time that I felt in prison was my childhood.
00:31:57:23 – 00:32:11:24
Brandy
I couldn’t wait to get out of that. You know, that childhood, my childhood was rough. I mean, I’ve got I’ve got this. Why? I know how to fight, you know, and it’s why I’ve got the plates and the screws in my face.
00:32:11:24 – 00:32:14:02
Toby
Because I to write my face.
00:32:14:04 – 00:32:26:17
Brandy
But I felt trapped, and, But I don’t know, you know, I got out and, you know, there were two times that I didn’t have enough money to stay moved out. You know how, like, a lot of kids move out. Move back in?
00:32:26:23 – 00:32:27:12
Toby
Yeah.
00:32:27:14 – 00:32:44:03
Brandy
I never moved back. Then. I lived in my car and I was homeless twice because I refused to move back in. Now, I do love my family, but I don’t love everything that they put me through. And I don’t love a large part of my childhood.
00:32:44:09 – 00:32:45:13
Toby
There are useful.
00:32:45:13 – 00:32:48:17
Brandy
Parts of my childhood, but there’s some rough stuff that went down.
00:32:48:19 – 00:33:07:24
Toby
And that’s a really important point, because I think that’s true for more people than admit it. And I think, you know, I had a daughter who died as a baby. She only lived 18 hours. And actually, her birthday was this last Tuesday. I never got over it because I never let myself talk about it or think about it.
00:33:07:24 – 00:33:30:03
Toby
I tried to keep it buried. And that’s when you get yourself in trouble, because stuff just festers and becomes even worse than it ever was. So I think it’s so important to be honest with yourself and acknowledge that maybe you didn’t have a perfect childhood, or maybe you don’t have a perfect marriage, or maybe you’re not perfect and there’s things you need to change and then do it.
00:33:30:05 – 00:33:36:13
Toby
But you have to. First thing you have to do is admit it and and own that it isn’t perfect. And then you can do something about it.
00:33:36:20 – 00:34:13:05
Brandy
Well, and, you know, something that’s really helped me out lately is, well, unlike the last two years is I have divorced my story. Like, I can tell my story, but I’ve divorced the victimhood that I, you know, I’m not the victim anymore. And, you know, I actually went to a therapist before about me being, like, this big achiever and all that, and it was because I was always trying to get the approval of someone, and, you know, and then I was like, I don’t want to achieve anything else because it’s it’s, for a weird reason in my head.
00:34:13:08 – 00:34:21:09
Brandy
I’m like, screw that. I like I like the product that was started for the wrong reason.
00:34:21:09 – 00:34:22:27
Toby
Yes.
00:34:23:00 – 00:34:49:08
Brandy
You know, I’ve come to, And now I don’t seek anybody’s approval, I don’t seek I mean, now I and that took me a minute, man. That took me a long time to not seek someone else’s approval. So I just I’m doing what I want to do, and I’m trying, you know, and this whole freaking, the lie that the whole world thinks that you’ve got to have.
00:34:49:08 – 00:34:50:12
Toby
That.
00:34:50:14 – 00:34:58:03
Brandy
You know, I got in kind of some deep debt, and now I’m like, let me get out of this. I can even be even more free.
00:34:58:05 – 00:35:07:04
Toby
Right? Right. I think that’s really important. So what’s one question you wish I’d asked?
00:35:08:01 – 00:35:10:04
Toby
Tell me your.
00:35:10:06 – 00:35:11:27
Brandy
Tell me your big goals.
00:35:12:00 – 00:35:13:18
Toby
Okay. Tell me.
00:35:13:21 – 00:35:31:05
Brandy
So I’m gonna look over here because I actually had a made into a poster. So here’s a poster I have. And like, you know what? And I want to readjust it. You know, this up. Access. I want to see it. Right? No, no. Out of sight, out of mind for me. So it says the secret to success is found in your daily routine.
00:35:31:05 – 00:35:54:20
Brandy
So I focus on my daily routine and it says big goals equal big reality. So here is what I have written down as my big goals. And I think I’m going to modify just a little bit. Okay. Non-corporate to you what it says, but I’ll probably modify in December. So I want to weigh below 200 pounds. I want to do that without a supplement and work out of surgery.
00:35:54:22 – 00:36:14:03
Brandy
I want to do that just grit and make her, I want to write a motivational book, and I’m actually going to wait until my father passes away to write that book. Just. That’s my form of love to a man that probably doesn’t deserve that from me. But I’m going to give that to him.
00:36:14:05 – 00:36:14:20
Toby
To her.
00:36:15:05 – 00:36:29:23
Brandy
Podcast. Download it. In every country. There’s a little bit over 200 countries in the world, and my podcast has been downloaded into, not quite 40. Okay. Since then, right? I just picked up Switzerland.
00:36:29:25 – 00:36:30:26
Toby
Okay.
00:36:30:28 – 00:37:00:18
Brandy
I want to help 1000 people reach their goals. So that’s with my business coaching. I want to run a horse wide open across the field. Now I can canter them, but it’s not wide open. There’s a difference between wide open and running in an arena or a short amount. So I want a place in the top five at an international mounted archery competition.
00:37:01:01 – 00:37:10:09
Brandy
I want to gross 1 million in a year. I want to have zero. That, and I want to have my own reality show.
00:37:10:12 – 00:37:14:23
Toby
I love that. Wow. I could see you doing a reality show. That’s pretty cool.
00:37:14:27 – 00:37:25:05
Brandy
I could do I, you know, I wouldn’t watch it because we have so many different things going on here and we are like red, white and blue.
00:37:25:07 – 00:37:26:26
Toby
Man, we are.
00:37:26:29 – 00:37:31:06
Brandy
We’re the American dream that happened. But it’s also the American nightmare.
00:37:31:13 – 00:37:35:15
Toby
Yeah. Yes. That’s so true. Oh, and I love that.
00:37:35:15 – 00:37:39:00
Toby
You write them down and you look at them every day. I have goals too.
00:37:39:02 – 00:37:40:09
Toby
But let me you.
00:37:40:11 – 00:38:02:07
Toby
I need to write me down. Yeah. Well, you know, I realized in the past couple of months that Toby Dore is doing some amazing things. You know, she has programs for women, she’s putting on seminars, she’s doing some things. But Toby Dore is 66 and going to be 67 in October. And Toby Dore has limited time.
00:38:02:10 – 00:38:05:02
Toby
I mean, I’m I have a lot I, I have 20 years.
00:38:05:02 – 00:38:32:16
Toby
But you know, when you get to be 67, you start realizing, you know, your time is not unlimited. And I want the work that I’m doing to continue after I’m gone. But I don’t think I can continue as Toby Dore because I’m gone. So I decided I needed to come up with the name of something and, and have this umbrella company business to hold everything so that I could pass it on.
00:38:32:16 – 00:38:57:18
Toby
And I and I have I decided what I was going to call it, and it’s called fierce Grace. Oh. Which I just love those two words together. I mean, fierce when I have fierce conversations. Everything I’m doing is fierce. But grace is such a part of my story too, and I never put those two words together until. So I had lunch with someone who wanted to meet me, and it was the same person I had lunch with a couple days ago.
00:38:57:18 – 00:39:14:14
Toby
But she lived in DC and read my book and listened to my podcast and wanted to meet me in person and offered to take me to lunch. And we were sitting there. We were there for three hours and she said, I don’t ever want to leave. She said, all I do is listen to you and you just are oozing this fierce grace.
00:39:14:19 – 00:39:32:10
Toby
And I said, what fierce grace? I would have never put those two words together. But you’re right. I mean, that’s so fierce, grace. And my mission statement is to create a space where the room is so filled with love that there’s no room for shame.
00:39:32:12 – 00:39:35:04
Brandy
Oh, yeah. Shame. Like we need.
00:39:35:04 – 00:39:38:15
Toby
To get rid of that. Yes, we do, and it’s a burden.
00:39:38:18 – 00:39:54:20
Toby
I think women embrace shame more than men do. You know, we just feel guilty about everything. And you’ve got to stop that. You’ve got to just, you know. So I broke somebody out of prison. I was on America’s Most Wanted. I went to prison. Big deal. This is what I’m doing today so well.
00:39:54:20 – 00:39:55:29
Toby
And I have.
00:39:56:02 – 00:40:11:21
Brandy
I’ve I’ve heard people silence. I have been I’ve been mean. I have taken, meanness that was towards me. And I couldn’t be mean to the person that was mean to me. So I was mean to other people.
00:40:11:25 – 00:40:12:11
Toby
Yes.
00:40:12:12 – 00:40:19:01
Brandy
I mean, and I have, I’ve, I’ve told people secrets and I’ve, you know, I’ve done I’ve.
00:40:19:01 – 00:40:20:08
Toby
Done horrible stuff that.
00:40:20:08 – 00:40:24:02
Brandy
I will I won’t be friends with people if they do stuff like that.
00:40:24:04 – 00:40:25:22
Toby
You know. And,
00:40:25:24 – 00:40:42:06
Brandy
I’ve grown up though, these last ten years, from, from 33 to 43 was, you know, my business deals with I mean, like 80% of our clients are 60 plus, and those are the people I want to be around.
00:40:42:11 – 00:40:44:12
Toby
Yes, I guess I don’t.
00:40:44:12 – 00:40:47:19
Brandy
Want to be around the person I was when I started this.
00:40:47:21 – 00:40:48:08
Toby
But I can.
00:40:48:08 – 00:41:06:08
Toby
Relate. You know, I’m learning as I move into this phase of my life that there’s a different essence, a different feel. It’s more about wisdom. It’s more about. The good, and it’s less about wanting this.
00:41:06:10 – 00:41:10:18
Toby
More thing, you know? Hey, also.
00:41:10:21 – 00:41:15:20
Brandy
For the people that are able to see me, I, they can only see the top part of my shirt.
00:41:15:27 – 00:41:17:01
Toby
It says ho and.
00:41:17:08 – 00:41:21:27
Brandy
But it says how when a easy it’s a gardening shirt.
00:41:21:29 – 00:41:23:02
Toby
Because you’re doing master.
00:41:23:03 – 00:41:24:17
Toby
Gardening classes there too.
00:41:24:17 – 00:41:27:26
Toby
Aren’t you? Gardening classes? I just felt like.
00:41:27:28 – 00:41:29:09
Brandy
I should explain.
00:41:29:13 – 00:41:32:03
Toby
The why. We’re on a purple.
00:41:32:03 – 00:41:34:18
Brandy
Shirt that says how it ain’t easy.
00:41:35:20 – 00:41:36:08
Toby
That’s pretty.
00:41:36:08 – 00:41:37:18
Toby
Funny. I like that.
00:41:37:27 – 00:41:38:24
Toby
Like.
00:41:38:26 – 00:41:42:14
Toby
So is there a question you’d like to ask me?
00:41:42:17 – 00:41:47:13
Toby
You know, Man.
00:41:47:15 – 00:42:06:25
Brandy
Okay, so, let me think here. Okay. You know, if I had a client, right, that that felt like, you know, the mistakes that they had, I think here, I’ll ask you something, because you’re 20 years older than me, right?
00:42:06:27 – 00:42:07:08
Toby
Yeah.
00:42:07:11 – 00:42:38:21
Brandy
What makes somebody that I. What is something I could say to someone that’s 66 that would make them, like, pull themselves up by their bootstraps to, like, live, live their life, you know, because so many girls, whenever I have women turn 50 and most of them are pretty like, yeah, I’m still pretty, I’m beautiful. And then, girl, whenever my client hits 60, they’re like, I got a I need to buy a burial plot.
00:42:38:21 – 00:42:53:08
Brandy
I need to get my, you know, see their friends dropping like flies. Right? It’s like you gotta let go of that stuff. And then when they hit 61, they’re just like, oh my gosh, another year has passed. They’re like.
00:42:53:11 – 00:42:54:27
Toby
Yeah, do they.
00:42:54:27 – 00:42:58:08
Brandy
Get that strength back? And they’re like, I want to do what I want to do.
00:42:58:09 – 00:42:59:21
Toby
Yes, yes, no.
00:42:59:25 – 00:43:19:10
Brandy
And so what is something that helped you like I’m sure a lot of people have issues with turning 60, you know, because they’re like, oh Lord, you know, we’ll slow down. And then my 70 year olds are freaking live. They’re fine. My 70 year olds are un hinged.
00:43:19:13 – 00:43:19:21
Toby
Like.
00:43:19:21 – 00:43:31:00
Brandy
They are doing what they’re buying the horse. They’re getting the horse trailer. They are doing what the heck they want to do. But those early 60s are rough. So what is something I could say?
00:43:31:02 – 00:43:50:05
Toby
You know, I think one of the important things is, you know, you’ve worked your whole life to get here, and now it’s time to enjoy because you’ve done all this hard work in the past. So I think one of the biggest things that really helps people get out of themselves is to ask them, what can you do for someone else?
00:43:50:05 – 00:43:53:10
Toby
And how can you do that today or tomorrow?
00:43:53:12 – 00:43:57:09
Brandy
All right. So help them focus on the selflessness.
00:43:57:09 – 00:43:59:01
Toby
Yes. So it’s.
00:43:59:02 – 00:44:24:19
Brandy
Like, yeah, you know, some of my best volunteers are in their 60s. And people that have like helped me so much, are in their 60s. They have so much knowledge. And, I don’t they just, you know, and I will tell you, the people that are that took care of their health and stuff early on were they are getting to live that better life later on.
00:44:24:19 – 00:44:25:27
Brandy
You know.
00:44:25:29 – 00:44:26:20
Toby
That’s true.
00:44:26:25 – 00:44:42:01
Toby
You know, and I feel I mean, this is my personal feeling. I’ve had a great life. I’ve experienced a million things. And if it’s over today, cool. I’m fine. But until that moment comes, I’m going to keep doing what I do, because I know.
00:44:42:03 – 00:44:42:26
Toby
Yeah.
00:44:42:28 – 00:44:46:05
Brandy
Man, I’m going to be getting chased by the Grim Reaper. And I’ll be like.
00:44:46:09 – 00:44:53:29
Toby
One more thing. Let me get this on my board. Yes. Right. Yes.
00:44:54:01 – 00:45:00:28
Brandy
Yeah. You know, I don’t know. Is there, is there anything else you would like to know or anything or.
00:45:01:00 – 00:45:03:25
Toby
Well, what’s one word that inspires you?
00:45:03:27 – 00:45:05:23
Toby
One word? Yeah.
00:45:07:00 – 00:45:08:09
Brandy
Tenacious.
00:45:08:12 – 00:45:09:17
Toby
Oh, that’s good word.
00:45:09:17 – 00:45:09:22
Toby
Yeah.
00:45:09:22 – 00:45:22:18
Brandy
And you know, when people say I’ve been described as unapologetic, which they don’t realize that in my head, I’m like, oh, I needed to say that differently. You know what? I’m two and around the whole night.
00:45:22:21 – 00:45:23:12
Toby
Right.
00:45:24:07 – 00:45:31:27
Brandy
Tenacious has been said about me so many times and unwavering. But I love the word tenacious.
00:45:31:29 – 00:45:39:14
Toby
I like that word, too. Now. I like it a lot. Maybe that would be the title of your self-help book.
00:45:39:17 – 00:45:52:26
Brandy
You know, I, I don’t I don’t know what I want to call. Yeah, but probably like, probably Big Boss Mayor how to be a mayor. And I have started on that book and I write chapters every now and then, like how to deal with adult.
00:45:52:26 – 00:45:54:21
Toby
Bullying and have.
00:45:54:21 – 00:45:56:25
Brandy
A a positive self-image.
00:45:56:29 – 00:45:57:21
Toby
But you know what?
00:45:57:21 – 00:46:13:18
Toby
You could do one word titles are pretty powerful. You could do tenacious Big Boss mayor story or something. You know, you have a subtitle with that in there, but I think a book called tenacious would make people just pick it up off the shelf like this book’s got some grit to it.
00:46:13:19 – 00:46:18:15
Brandy
Yeah. It’s good. It’s. Well, and you know what? People don’t know what a mayor is. They think it’s marry.
00:46:18:18 – 00:46:23:00
Toby
They get married. Right? Right. I think it’s.
00:46:23:00 – 00:46:24:17
Brandy
Very they think and I’m like.
00:46:24:17 – 00:46:26:14
Toby
What? What’s wrong? You know, most.
00:46:26:14 – 00:46:36:26
Brandy
Mexican, you know, I was born in South Texas. I was born 30 miles above Mexico. I would have been, like, the most Caucasian Mexican in the world.
00:46:36:28 – 00:46:39:24
Toby
That would have been cool. Yeah, that makes sense.
00:46:39:25 – 00:46:42:27
Brandy
I would have won all sorts of bets on bet. My.
00:46:42:29 – 00:46:45:07
Toby
You know what I mean?
00:46:45:09 – 00:47:03:21
Toby
Yeah, I love that. Well, I can’t wait to continue following you on Facebook and see what comes next. But, you’ve just been doing amazing things, and I think that Brandy is a perfect example of take what you’re dealt and make something out of it. You don’t have to wait for the perfect moment to start, or the perfect tools to start.
00:47:03:25 – 00:47:06:24
Toby
Just start and created as you go.
00:47:06:27 – 00:47:14:10
Brandy
Well, yeah. And it man, with all the people that you meet, man, I want to travel this world and tell this story.
00:47:14:12 – 00:47:15:13
Toby
Yes. You know, I’m.
00:47:15:13 – 00:47:26:16
Brandy
Always keeping you in mind for that because people need to hear that, you know, my, disaster can become somebody else’s, you know, inspiration that.
00:47:26:19 – 00:47:30:20
Toby
Right? Yeah. Right. So that most.
00:47:30:20 – 00:47:46:10
Brandy
Definitely I love listening people stories. It makes me a stronger, it makes me more empathetic and it makes me or has makes me have more empathy. And it just I feel like it broadens my, you know, my scope.
00:47:46:13 – 00:48:08:10
Toby
Yeah. You know, if you tell somebody how to do something, they might listen. They might not, they might not. But if you tell them your story or story of someone who did something, then remember that story. Because human beings crave stories. That’s that’s our thing. And so I think stories matter. And I think that’s why it’s so important that people tell their stories.
00:48:08:12 – 00:48:20:15
Brandy
Well, you know, that’s why I chose the animals for those books and to go with children because I feel like, man, you know, our childhoods, they mess us up our whole lives.
00:48:20:20 – 00:48:21:21
Toby
They do,
00:48:21:24 – 00:48:28:00
Brandy
We need to try to fix those a little bit earlier and then also help people heal without.
00:48:28:03 – 00:48:28:27
Toby
Trash.
00:48:28:29 – 00:48:51:19
Toby
I love that, too. I’m working on a children’s book, actually. Well, actually, I have one done, but I want to write a series of three. So anyway, I the thing about children is you can lecture them what so many people do, but that goes in one ear and out the other. But when you tell them a story and you relate it to an animal or something sweet and that they can identify with, they remember it.
00:48:51:23 – 00:48:53:12
Toby
So I think it’s powerful.
00:48:53:14 – 00:49:08:00
Brandy
I’ve had statements that were said to me as a child that locked in like I had a different martial arts instructor one time, tell me that sometimes the kids have to be the adults, you know? And so I’m like, oh, that was impactful.
00:49:08:07 – 00:49:08:23
Toby
Yeah.
00:49:08:25 – 00:49:28:06
Brandy
Another instructor tell me one time that if anything matters, that everything matters. So you need to be taking care of, you know, getting your laundry dry cleaned and making sure you have groceries. You can’t just hyper focus on one thing. You’ve got to make sure. Because if that one thing matters, you’ve got to not let the other things in your life fall apart.
00:49:28:12 – 00:49:43:23
Toby
Yeah. You know, I saw, I was watching a video this week, and I can’t even remember who it was, but it was somebody who knew a lot of stuff and people and some kid in the audience asked him, what can I do to change my life? And he said, go home and make your bed.
00:49:44:16 – 00:49:45:06
Brandy
Oh, yeah.
00:49:45:09 – 00:50:05:15
Toby
Well, I mean, it is the little things. It’s the little things you just start doing that become routine, and then you add more and you add more and you add more until suddenly you’re doing some amazing things because you’ve just you can’t just troll around. You’ve got to do something. You’ve got to, you know, have habits that last.
00:50:05:18 – 00:50:14:27
Brandy
You know, every day I start with my I have I’ll show you it is my prepare to conquer the day and then I do.
00:50:15:00 – 00:50:15:16
Toby
I.
00:50:15:17 – 00:50:19:16
Brandy
This is what I have to do before I do what I have to do.
00:50:19:18 – 00:50:21:11
Toby
I love that, yeah.
00:50:21:13 – 00:50:43:19
Brandy
I check my calendar, I read, I fill out my planner, I tidy up my work area, I process the mail, I go through our finances and I pay any bills that need to be paid. You know, my father once told me that there’s two people, two different types of people in this world. There’s people that live and then pay bills and there’s people that pay bills and then live.
00:50:43:22 – 00:50:54:26
Brandy
And he told me that I’m the one that pays bills and then lives. And my brother, who never really been good with finances, he said that he would live and then pay bills.
00:50:54:26 – 00:50:59:16
Toby
That was between the two of us. Yes. Yeah. It is.
Toby
Amazing how just changing the order of something makes it.
Toby
Changes.
Toby
The whole concept of that. Pretty interesting. Well, thanks so much Brandy. I’ve loved having you on today, and we’ll have links in our show notes to all of your different websites. So be sure and send those to me and you can reach out and contact Brandy Von Holtzman. I would recommend following her on Facebook because you will be entertained and amazed.
Brandy
Yeah, I just need to. If it’s too much, they can snooze me for 30 days. Or just.
Toby
Like in a few of them, they don’t need to go all.
Brandy
Overload with all of our stuff.
Toby
Because I do much.
Brandy
For a lot of people.
Toby
Yeah, yeah. So thanks again, Brandy, and check the show notes for links to get in touch with Brandy.
Brandy
All right. Hey, Toby. Last, exciting thoughts. You know, if I’m too much, then go find less.
Toby
The, I love that. I think that I’m sure that.
Brandy
That on shirts that says if I’m too much, then go find less.